Long time no see

Hey people who read this blog!
As you might notice i havent really uploaded anything on here recently mainly because i kinda forgot and didn't have the time for it. 
I still have been uploading vlogs over the past 2 years of which the last year only some here and there. The reason for me not uploading much is because I find it really difficult to vlog around other people, don't have the time or feel like i don't have anything interesting to share.
If your vlogging/making videos yourself you might understand what im talking about. 
My family is kinda used to it now so they don't really care when i film around them but its just kinda awkward filming around other people such as my friends, my boyfriend or other family. 
I do enjoy making the videos and love watching them back some time later and it always brings a smile on my face but I feel like i don't have the courage to just go out and about and film everything even tho that might make more interesting videos. 
I starting making these videos because i loved watching other people their videos and still do, its like your part of somebodies life and at the same time feels like a favorite tv show or something. 
At the moment i watch Sacconejoly's & Zoella, i have watched a lot more but i seem to find these 2 the most fun to watch or others have stopped vlogging like they did in the past. (if you have some recommendations please let me know ;P) 

Seeing these people share their daily lives, cool experiences or even just hauls made me just a bit more happier than i was and inspired me to make my own videos. This to, as i said before, watch back later on as a memory but also to hopefully have more fun in the things that I do. 

So back to why i havent uploaded much vlogs in the past year... After coming back from Japan in the summer of 2014 I first had a relaxing half year to focus on some classes i had to finish and just made some videos here and there. Then beginning 2015 i started my internship which ended up being hard work. Not even because of the tasks i got, but mainly because of the long days (40 hour a week) and on top of that the long traveling times (3-4 hours per day). I would come home exhausted and would just grab dinner and go to bed afterwards. My weekends would be to regain some energy which meant i felt to tired to meet up with friends most of the times. 
Then when i finished my interns just before the summer break of 2015 i needed to get things sorted for my thesis. The thesis i had to write would take up the whole semester and unfortunately without any help, apart from some bad feedback every once in a while. To get an income again i also started working my part time job again which kept me busy together with focussing on my thesis. 
After putting a lot of work into all that i ended up graduating for my education in January 2016. (followed by my graduation ceremony in march). 

After finally being done with all my school stuff i kinda just stopped with doing anything, apart from my job (which i still have right now). I felt that i finally could relax again, not having to worry about deadlines or stressing about not being able to reach the right people for grades or whatever. And so that is what i have been doing from February till now. No school, no stress, no nothing haha.
This also made me kinda lazy i guess, making some videos here and there and just exploring some new hobbies. Such as card making and planning (of which i of course made some videos haha). 
I also have been doing some gaming for a few months (Black desert online) but that stopped again so now im just thinking about what to do next.

I need to start working on a plan and figure out what i want to do with my life. of course i would love to make a career of youtube or twitch or something like that. But right now thats not happening and I feel that i don't put enough energy/effort in to make it big out there. Besides that I feel that many people find it weird that people make videos of their lives and stuff which makes me insecure which ends up in less videos. I know many people say just do it if you like it, but its not that easy when the people in your surroundings don't really understand and kinda frown upon it. And i have always been the person that really focusses on what other people think. This also results in me not using my Facebook for example to promote my channel, because im worried what people might think of me. Even though i love it when i meet somebody online who does the same thing or enjoys the same type of videos etc. 

Anyway thats just my thoughts for tonight, this is so random to suddenly put out there but thats just how i have been feeling lately so when i stumbled upon my blog just an hour ago i was like why not use this to write off my thoughts haha. 

So for whoever reads this i hope you are having a good day and do the things you love! :D
And you can always leave a comment or whatever if you wanna have a little chat!

                                                   (me on my holiday to greece) 



For anybody curious here is my latest video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag32bbJcWXc


See you next time! Xoxo

Busy week.. focusing on today :)

Hey :)
So this week is only just over halfway done but it almost feels like the end of it. I have been working every day apart from Wednesday, when I went to school, and I will be working until Saturday so not finished yet. But it has been a nice productive week. A week to be proud of.
I send out quite some internship applications, or am waiting for some contacts to send them to and been doing my best at work.
Being young and thinking about what I want to do as a job later seems pretty difficult for me. I am not completely sure yet what I want to do for the rest of my life. And sometimes it feels that i'm scared of the responsibility and pressure that comes with jobs. Don't take me wrong, I am sure I can handle it and do the job if I need too, however I don't know if I can be super happy at the same time.
Even when I am writing this now I can dream about being a writer for a living, but I do realize that i'm not that good of a writer at all. So many thoughts in my head that when I put them down or try to explain them to others it just seems like a chaotic mess.
The same goes for vlogging/ making youtube videos, dreaming about being able to do it for a living and just enjoy what i'm doing sounds as a great plan. But when I actually just focus on that it no longer is that fun anymore, because my subscribers don't grow or i don't get comments often. However, if I just think about the fun part of making the videos and watching them back later or just enjoying the fun at the moment, it is so much more enjoyable. Just like receiving one comment today on a video was like a great compliment and made me so happy, making somebody else enjoy what I like doing feels so much better than just doing something for the money or to become popular.
And that makes me think, do we maybe focus on the wrong things nowadays. Focus on the money, the goals, instead of the experience at that exact moment and what you like doing yourself. Because when you think about it... time goes so fast, maybe we should try and enjoy today instead of focusing on tomorrow and trying to remember yesterday.

See you next time
Xoxo Ezzie.

Another day

good evening :)
So this last week has been a lazy week even though I should have done some more things.
On Tuesday I got 1 wisdom tooth removed, the first one was removed in September so I knew I had to take it easy the days after getting this one removed. And just like with the other one I got a nice bruise on my jaw and painkillers were my friends this week haha. Luckily by now it all feels fine again just a bit sore every once in a while but I can deal with that haha.
Another thing I have been doing in the past week has been looking at computers and computer parts and I finally made the decision to not get a premade computer but to try and build one with the help of others. I have been getting some advice from friends and today I ordered the parts so lets hope its gonna be a great build for me and then I can start playing games again without lagging really bad haha and maybe start working on vlogs again.
So what are my plans for this week:
I send out an email for a internship so I hope I get a reply on that before Wednesday and if not I will try and call and see if they got something for me. It would be great to find an internship now and just relax but I don't wanna be to disappointed if this is nothing right now.
On Wednesday I also have a presentation for Japanese which i'm working on today so lets hope I can get a good grade for that so that I will be able to pass the big test easier aswell. Unfortunately I always have issues concentrating so I'm kinda procrastinating as always.
Other than that mostly just work and on Friday I am going to visit my grandma with my parents and after that go out for lunch and maybe do some shopping to just do something different than just sitting inside studying/working. So I'm looking forward to that :).

That was it for now so see you next time :)
xoxo ezzie

A new start.

Good day everybody,

As some of you might know i have been to Japan for about 5 months and came home in august again. In the meanwhile its already november and a few months have passed since I came home.

In Japan i made a lot of new friends from all across the world and barely had any alone time, which sometimes was a bit to much for me however, i started to get used to it slowly. Then i went back home again.. from being around people all day, suddenly it was just me and my parents again (my brother moved out while i was in Japan). 

This made me feel quite down in the first few days and maybe weeks, because it no longer was an option to just go have some coffee at a cafe with my roommate or study together in the library with some friends. Every thing needed to be planned again with my friends at home. Days before and sometimes weeks before we would plan dates to hang out together, but when the day would finally arrive, we would end up being to busy or i would just not feel like having the energy to meet up with friends. Which i was not happy with at all.

After a few weeks my school also started again and without knowing anybody i went to the classes and luckily i got to know some people in my class so that we could work on projects together but besides that no real friendships unfortunately.

Now you might think why is this girl being so negative about everything, she had a great time in Japan right!?

Well the thing is, I feel like i have lost my motivation for just standard things, like hanging out with my friends, go to school, work on projects etc.

Recently i got a new job which im really happy with, and at least im busy with that and it gives me the feeling that i am doing something usefull. However, when the times come that i have to do things for school for example i just start feeling down i guess or just super tired. 

This is not me asking for attention or anything, i just hope by writing this down i slowly start getting over it again and start to get more motivation for things again. Because, im not really happy with how it is right now. 

I stopped vlogging after Japan because i felt like my daily life became to boring and the laptop i would edit on, i have given to my sister temporarily for school because hers broke down.

But maybe its a good thing to start blogging again. About the little things i enjoy in life and maybe that will help me move forward again. 

So from here on i think its a good time for a new start, so lets do it!

Xoxo Ezzie

Florida!

So first of all yeah i didn't keep to my blogging schedule but at least its less time in between these post than between the ones before these haha.

Second of all!!! I am going to FLORIDA!!! I booked my tickets and hotel 2 days ago and paid everything yesterday so now its official! Me and my best friend from work are going to Florida and I am sure its going to be awesome!
I have wanted to go for a really long time and finally I found somebody willing to go with me on this great adventure :D. We will be going to Orlando and planning to go to Disney world one day as well of course and for the rest: Shopping, Relaxing, going to the beach and maybe even swim with dolphins which would be super cool!
Now we finally booked it, we are looking more into the actual plans and which day we are planning to do what and what kind of fun things will be to do around there.
Also my cousin from the united states will look if she can come visit us there for a few days which would be a lot of fun aswell!
I was super excited when we finally got the green light to book it so right when I came home from work I booked it and we are planning to go in 2,5 weeks which is really soon! :D
I am now just working on lists for the things i need to bring and the things i wanna buy and do there so this will be a trip that we will never forget!

I am planning to film during my trip aswell so if you are interested make sure to keep an eye on my youtube channel ( ezziesvlogs ) so that you can see my videos when they are coming online!

Thats about it for now and I will see you next time!!
xoxo Ezzie

Vlogging & Blogging update!

Hey guys!

I know I have been quite inactive with blogging, and lately also with vlogging. I will try and explain why that has happened and what my plans are for the coming few months if everything goes well.

Writing down stuff has always taken me some extra time and I feel I first need good subjects to write about before I actually can start writing something. However, this ends up in me not writing anything at all. In my vlogs on the other hand, I feel like I can just talk about anything I want. It feels less official so I just talk about whatever is on my mind and show random things that I do or notice in my daily life or just an opinion I want to share.

Some of you might have also seen my vlogs, and noticed that after vlogmas I didn't really update/upload anymore. This was because at first I felt like a break from vlogging everyday would be a nice change, however 2 days became 4 days, 4 days became 7 and so on. With a vlog being uploaded only every once in a while. Now at the end of the month I have noticed I only uploaded 7 videos this month which feels to me like a lack of effort shown from my side.


Another thing that has kept me busy over the last few weeks is a game called Minecraft. I have been playing it almost every day which sometimes made me lose track of time. It also gave me the opportunity to make new friends which is awesome. Things have been pretty hectic at my home and being able to forget about all that by playing games made me feel better for that time being. I know that might have not been the best solution but hey it worked for me.

I do want to be more productive again though besides work, and not lose myself in playing games all day long. That is why I made a schedule for myself which might sound a bit weird but I understand it and it gives me the right amount of time work on things and to come up with the things i want to be working on

So my plan is to volg every other day (calling that the vlogging days), and post a blog in between them. Like in between every 2 or 3 vlogging days.



So this was a pretty long update, and I don't know if I have any real readers on here but might as well post this haha. And if you don't know me and would like to see my vlogs i will post one down below so you can check it out.

Thanks for reading and hopefully you will see more from me on here soon!

Have a great day!

xoxo Ezzie



ps. sorry if I made a lot of mistakes grammar and spellings wise lol.

Primark haul! (november 2013)

Hey everybody!
So last week i went to the primark and got some fun and nice stuff. So i filmed a haul about the things i got and give a short review on it aswell i spend around 53 euro on my total purchase. So if you are interested in watching it check the video below! :D
Have a great day!